S1 Book 8 Chapter 3
He had never thought about returning to this place.
Perhaps it was because there was a lack of opportunity to, or perhaps it was because he had been subconsciously telling himself that it was not the time to go back. Truthfully, there was another possibility too: that his reluctance to give up the warmth he currently possessed had prevented him from making a decision up until now.
He flipped through the book in his hand. It was the only book that Yu Xia had helped him grab from his home after the incident, one that his father had enjoyed when he was still alive. Its title was “How to Become Rich”. The contents had been completely memorised after reading it a few times, but it had never helped his family before. The only use his father had for it was to hide things inside.
Stuck between different pages were a photo, some charms, and a few thousand yuan bills.
It was a family photo that included a youthful father and mother, plus his siblings when they had still been young. The background contained some kind of tall mountain, likely a certain famous scenic spot. There were also other tourists captured in the corner. The photo only contained the family of four from back before he had entered the family.
He knew how much the male family head, who had once loved them dearly, strongly desired to erase his existence as if he had never existed, to bring back the warmth and joy that the household once had. The great sum of money that had been lost would be regained, and the man’s outstanding son and daughter, as well as the love of his life, would never have betrayed him.
But the reality was that the man refused to believe that woman’s words.
Regardless of how advanced technology was and how many other ways they had proven he was their biological child, the man’s sole conclusion was that these were all fabricated. As long as the woman colluded with someone else, it was enough to fabricate the identity they wanted to make. The man could only depend on the redeeming grace of the incense, lies told by other people, and flimsy charms, believing that these methods could change everything.
Many family lies were like this.
Men who abused women or women who abused men would always weave excuses by means of something else, such as indulging themselves in alcohol to convince themselves that they are never wrong, or repeatedly force the other party to pathetically forgive them.
The woman was a typical Taiwanese lady that believed keeping the family together could ensure nothing was lost.
She worked difficult side-jobs to raise her children, struggling in the deep waters to come up with ways to make the man accept the reality. It was a very stereotypical belief of a wife, which usually was also a source of many misfortunes in the household.
Yu Xia often said that this was not a sign of restraint or compliance, but rather just a lack of courage. Using love to protect themselves and avoiding the acknowledgement of not having the guts to step out into a world without the man, yet not willing to choose a new life for the sake of protecting themselves and their children. As time gradually passed and the state of society grew less stable, the children, who had been twisted to become bombs waiting to explode at a young age, would grow up and decide to spend their so-called future turning other people into masses of bruises.
But getting the chance to become a ticking bomb was good. A small portion of abusive households did not even give their children chances to mature, while the other half that were excessively unrestricted from bad behaviour did not end up with lives to continue living either.
His family might have been the epitome of all the issues Yu Xia had said.
However, the man had chosen to sink to an even lower level, dragging the entire family down to bury them amidst the stench of blood and the smell of incense. The other man that was even more terrible had installed unimaginable amounts of incense in their home, persuading the family head to pull out anything worth mortgaging or the last remnants of their money in exchange. And at some point, he would even let the other man bring his own daughter out…The young girl that had inherited the mother’s beauty would often come home blankly and collapse next to the shrine laughing foolishly. Another male’s smell containing either alcohol or smoke would linger all over her, and she sometimes would even have some creased bills in her bra.
These things were no longer heeded in the members of that family.
He slowly sank deeper into the ice-cold water, attempting to cut off from everything outside.
The simple, two words: “Save me” would be swallowed down his throat with the water.
Despite all this, the man would never forget to open that door to let him return to school during the day for that brief period of time, although nobody at school ever noticed their abnormality.
He spent most of his time reading books in that dark, small space. The scholarship he had from the school allowed him to buy those silent words, and his older siblings would help him hide the books away. Although their mental states were not good either, they would still carefully protect him and do everything they could do.
The dark typeset of letters always made him recall that sickly sweet scent.
The man would occasionally remember [him], sometimes when the incense was not enough to satisfy, and the man’s voice would be heard coming from outside, quietly telling him how much he hated those eyes, how all he wanted to do was sink his fingers down onto his neck, how he was a parasite in this home, how he was wasting unnecessary space.
Originally, all three children had possessed their own bedrooms. But one day, the man had gone crazy and torn apart his room and tossed everything inside away, as if trying to literally destroy his original existence.
Thus, he had come to understand that his existence was just an outlet for the man to unleash his anger.
He had known the reason for his survival for a long time now.
The tourists in the background of the photo he was stroking were people from another family that had been buried together in his home. He did not even know what the relationship between the two families was. All he knew was that the other family had come to visit a few times while he had been sleeping in the water, faintly hearing the other person trying to persuade them.
Then, they had all died together.
The man had even been willing to kill outsiders.
Xiao Yu returned the photo back into the book and stared at the charm. There was a temple’s mark printed in the corner that he had looked up online multiple times. He knew where this place was.
His cellphone range, and he shut the book.
Fang Yi Xun’s incoming phone call chased away his memories from that time in the water.
“I looked it up. That Wang guy is currently living in that shrine within the suburbs.” The girl’s cheerful voice came from the other end.
Their objective was identical in this way.
Shaodi Yu and Fang Yi Xun had not told anyone of what they had decided to do.
“Mm…” He quietly replied, then heard the girl’s soft chuckle.
“Want to come?”
***
The next time Yu Yin bumped into that [little] girl was not long after.
The next afternoon, just when Yu Yin was about to look for Ah Fang to buy some tickets together, he saw Yi Tai sitting alone in the small pavilion near the gardens, reading a book.
“Are you looking for Ah Fang?” The other person smiled as usual as he lifted his head to look up at Yu Yin walking over.
“Eh, yep. Is he at the basketball courts?” Yu Yin scratched his head as he glanced around and saw nobody else around. Ah Fang just texted earlier saying he was in the area, so why don’t I see him?
“He said about a minute ago that he was going to buy some drinks at the convenience store. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.” Yi Tai shut his book and cleaned up the empty lunchboxes in front of him. It seemed that he had just finished eating lunch.
Yu Yin eyed the friend that he could not confidently say he was close with. Then, he sat down next to Yi Tai to study his face, but could not detect anything strange.“I heard you’re deferring from your studies?”
Yi Tai chuckled, having seemingly guessed that the rumours would spread so quickly. He was therefore not surprised by the question. “Actually, I am transferring schools. My family wants me to transfer to a school overseas. It seems that the things I have been up to outside have made them very uneasy.”
“Oh…”
“This does not have any relation with other matters. I also predicted that it was about time. Honestly speaking, I do not actually want to transfer out, so I have more or less been internally resisting against it these past several years.” Yi Tai spoke with an unusually relaxed tone, as if he was talking about someone else’s problem. Patting the book, he said, “The studies went well, life went well, so I have been quite happy this whole time.”
“Is it really decided already?” Although a bit abrupt, Yu Yin could not help but voice his doubts. “Is it related to your eyes?”
After they had returned, they had thought for a brief period of time that everything had been resolved.
By the time Ah Fang noticed that Yi Tai would suddenly bump into electric poles, several days had already passed. After some examinations, it was discovered that his eyesight would occasionally fail, causing his vision to blur for moments at a time without warning. It had gradually degenerated to a severe state, and none of the larger-scale hospitals in the city could figure out the reason. That was when they had finally realised there was something off about the situation.
Yu Yin instinctively believed that it was possibly related to those corpses, but he could not bring himself to say this.
“Let me say it this way: aside from you and Ah Fang, nobody else knows of this. After getting used to it, it has not caused any major complications. So my answer is that there is no relation.” As for bumping into the electric pole, Yi Tai himself had said it was because he had not been paying attention as he was looking for Ah Fang to go eat hotpot or barbeque for dinner that time.
Thus, his conclusion was that they were making too much of a fuss over nothing.
Yu Yin stared at the bizarre person in front of him, suddenly understanding Ah Fang’s struggles.
They had clearly been talking about the same question, yet why did it suddenly feel as if they were not understanding each other at all? They had not even strayed off-topic. It simply seemed as if Yi Tai was answering the question in a way that did not truly answer it.
Yi Tai did not notice his classmate’s resignation and tilted his head to the side as he thought of something. “You do not have to go to Changhua with us either. I believe you have more important matters, so there’s no need to go down to the southern district. But your matters will naturally unfold. Place your focus on someone else, the person you need to help is not any of us.”
“What do you mean?” Because of the impressions left from the previous bitter experiences, Yu Yin was extremely alarmed. He was terrified of something major happening again. However, the other person’s response nearly made him vomit blood.
“I am not sure either. It’s just a feeling.”
Yi Tai, whose instincts were accurate to the point where he could even sense ghosts, simply responded this way.
Then, Ah Fang returned with drinks in his hands.
Unable to ask anything else, Yu Yin bid farewell to his friends and took his leave first.
Since he did not have classes in the afternoon, he could go home first before preparing to go to his part-time job at night. During the break, he would rest as usual, or pick up Xiao Yu and bring him to hang out nearby.
As Yu Yin thought this, his footsteps suddenly stopped in front of the parking lot.
He saw that little girl.
Although she was not as clean as she had been yesterday, she was not as messy or dirty as before either.
She had exchanged the little Western-style dress that Li Lin Yue had given her for a simple, clean set of clothing. The little girl quickly ran over and grabbed his hand. “Dàgēgē!” There was a huge smile spread across her adorable, small face, without the fear she had the previous day.
“You ran out again? Did you eat?” Yu Yin smiled back in response as he crouched down to match her eye level.
“Yep! I ate cup noodles and the cake with Daddy yesterday. Daddy said I need to say thanks.” Shuang Shuang tugged at his clothing then turned to look behind them.
Yu Yin followed her shift in gaze and noticed a female police officer turn around the corner, heading towards them. She seemed pretty young, likely a rookie that had just joined. He did not recognise her.
“Hello, may I ask if you are acquainted with this little girl’s family?” The corners of the female officer’s mouth tilted upwards in a friendly manner as she stopped in front of them.
“I only know the little girl, is something the matter?” Yu Yin picked up the little girl before standing up to look at the young officer.
The girl sitting in his arms inquisitively messed up his hair to rub the scar hidden underneath.
“Mm…you see, a few things happened at this little girl’s household. Several days ago, their home was looted, and they lost their bankbook and stamp. As a result, they ended up having all their cash withdrawn. The father had only reported the case today when we were patrolling the area on the higher-up’s orders. We checked the security cameras and discovered that the person who withdrew the hundreds and thousands of dollars from the account was his wife from his second marriage. However, she has been missing for two or three days now. Since the neighbours around their home are not well acquainted with the family, and the little girl said she only knew you, I originally wanted to ask you some questions to see if you knew any information.” The officer seemed a bit awkward and unskilled with interrogation.
Yu Yin could not see the other officer that had brought the rookie, and figured this was a type of independent training. “I’m not sure, I only just met Shuang Shuang yesterday. You could go check the second wife’s friends or coworkers, and see if she was close to any other men. Plus, you could look into the second wife’s parents and their household situation, as well as her personal financial situation, her work environment, and so on.”
The female cop was stunned for a moment. She then smiled and said, “And here I thought that university students these days didn’t know so much [about these things]…”
“Oh, haha, you can learn from watching for long enough.” Yu Yin grabbed the little girl’s hands to stop her from picking at his head, then looked back and finally spotted the experienced officer that had brought the rookie along. As the older officer walked over, the female cop greeted him as “Teacher” and took a few steps back.
The person that joined this time was someone Yu Yin did recognise.
“Wow, so it was you that gave the information, Ah Yin? I was wondering why Ah Tong would suddenly assign people here to watch this family.” The officer in his thirties scratched his head before turning to explain to the younger cop about how Yu Yin’s guardians both worked at the station.
Realisation dawned on the female cop’s face as she instantly understood what the conversation just now had meant.
“Xiao-dàgē, what’s up with her Āyí?” After going back yesterday, Yu Yin had quickly learned from others that the Āyí the little girl had mentioned was her father’s second wife from remarriage.
“I’m not really sure either. I heard the neighbours say she was a beautiful woman that had the appearance of a saleswoman. But after the marriage, she would often fight with her husband. The social workers said that this kind of situation was pretty typical, since the husband was handicapped, after all. After the marriage, there must have been gaps that made it seem less perfect than they had originally thought.” Since Officer Xiao was acquainted with Yu Yin, he did not try to hide any information.
This type of case was one they would hear of from time to time.
A typical couple already required the awareness that life after marriage would be different from before marriage, let alone people with health issues.
While dating, the partners usually only saw the good parts of each other, and would marry before learning enough about their counterparts. They would then be forced to discover the burdens on trifles of life, such as cleaning or dealing with dirty objects, and often end up quickly bursting out on their partner as their problem.
The idolized story of how the couple’s situation had ended after the accident had caused the man to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life had sounded perfect. They had been willing to sacrifice everything for each other.
But in reality, even couples that had been married for a long time would often choose to abandon their original oaths after seeing their partner end up literally tied to them for the rest of their lives.
After his second wife had discovered that he needed to frequently change into a diaper when going out a distance away, she finally erupted, and the two began to grow hostile towards each other.
“So we suspect that the woman gathered the funds and fled, which isn’t really uncommon. Now we just need to see if we can chase her down and get the money back,” the officer told Yu Yin while rubbing the little girl’s head.
“Understood, I’ll keep an extra eye out too.” After carrying the little girl for a while, Yu Yin was starting to feel his arms go a bit numb. “I still need to go to my part-time job later, so you guys can bring Shuang Shuang back first…”
“I want to be with Dàgēgē!”
The little girl hugged Yu Yin’s neck tightly, her voice rising higher, causing Yu Yin’s ears to start buzzing. “Don’t touch me! I want to be with Dàgēgē!”
The two officers froze, having not expected for the little girl to suddenly flip a switch and rebel.
“Sigh… Dàgēgē still needs to go to work. Why don’t you play with Zǐzǐ?” The female cop carefully rubbed the little girl’s hands as she spoke in a softened tone.
Shuang Shuang did not hold back at all, rudely kicking the female cop’s hand away while grabbing tightly onto Yu Yin, refusing to let the police take her away.
“Shuang Shuang, I need to go to work. You should go home to be with your Daddy for now.” Yu Yin was unable to deal with the little girl’s shrill screams, and his mood instantly worsened. He tried to pull the little girl away from him, but the latter’s hands were clutched so tightly onto his neck that it felt as if his skin was being ripped off.
“I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna!”
Yu Yin saw the other two officers look completely at loss.
He suddenly very much agreed with words that he could not remember the origin of: No matter how adorable a child may look, they will always have an extremely detestable side to them.
As if hanging onto her lifeline, the little girl blinked her large, black eyes that glittered with tears. “I want to be together with Dàgēgē…Shuang Shuang has a secret base that I want us to play at. Then Shuang Shuang will go home.”
“Then how about Dàzǐzǐ and Police-Shūshu play with you there instead?” The female cop persistently tried again.
“It’s Shuang Shuang’s secret base! You guys are not allowed to go!” She shot a fierce glare at the female cop, just short of baring her teeth viciously.
Yu Yin could feel a headache coming on.
“Ah Yin, could I request for you to help?” Officer Xia could only look at the trusted university student in front of him after seeing the little girl’s unwillingness.
“I’ll get my pay deducted, you know. Please, they take attendance into account, Dàgē.” He had already narrowly escaped being strangled to death after skipping class. Would he have to skip work now too?
“How about I make up for the money lost from your absence then? It’s fine even if it’s one or two thousand yuan. Just think of it as cooperating with the police?” The officer actually pulled out his wallet while saying this.
“Forget it, Uncle will kill me if he finds out.” Yu Yin stopped the officer from continuing his actions. He tilted the girl’s face to face him as he said, “Shuang Shuang, Dàgēgē has work later so I’ll bring you home right after we go to your secret base together, okay?”
The little girl nodded furiously. “Okay.”
“I’ll be troubling you then.” The officer patted Yu Yin on the shoulder. “If something happens, give us a call. If you need to go straight to work, let us know and we can pick up your little friend.”
“Got it.”
Yu Yin sighed helplessly as he looked at the little girl who stubbornly refused to let go.
“So in the end, where is your secret base?”
After parting ways with the police officers, Yu Yin placed the girl back down onto the ground in exasperation, turning around to stretch his sore arms.
“Need to take the bus.” Shuang Shuang pointed outside the school gates. “Number 11, all the way to the end. Shuang Shuang discovered it one day after getting on by accident.”
Yu Yin followed her line of sight to eye the bus sign outside the school. After contemplating for a moment, he said, “How about this then? Shuang Shuang, you get on the bus while I follow behind on my motorbike. That way we don’t need to take the bus again coming back.” Or else who knows how far we’ll have to circle around; no idea if we might need to transfer buses coming back. If that happened, he really wouldn’t be going to work today.
The girl did not kick up a fuss this time, and just obediently nodded.
He brought his bike over, and after the girl sat onto the Number 11 bus, he began to follow behind.
Whenever they stopped at a traffic light, Yu Yin would look up and see the girl sprawled on the seat, plastered to the window to happily wave at him. Then, a female wearing a suit stood behind the girl, her dark face half covered by the shadows. The figure did not sway or budge at all despite the bus’s rocking motions, simply maintaining a cold glare pointed at the areas lit up under the sunlight on the other side of the window.
Only after the cars behind him gave him a few piercing honks did Yu Yin snap out of his reveries and hurriedly chase after the bus.
The woman stood there the entire time without any other passengers noticing. The hanging rings inside swung back and forth, passing through her head. Suddenly, another person grabbed at the ring.
The middle-aged person stood up from their spot and stood where the woman was to press the bell.
Shuang Shuang suddenly jumped up from where she sat in the back as well.
Yu Yin stopped his bike and checked his watch – the trip had been around thirty minutes long, which was slightly faster than he had expected. If he hadn’t been forced to go the long route around with frequent stops like the bus, it might have taken just fifteen or twenty minutes to arrive.
The area in front of him was a residential area that seemed mostly for middle-class residents. He had never been to this place before.
Shuang Shuang jumped down from the bus and crawled up to the backseat of his bike. “Once you just turn into the alley in front, we’ll be there.”
Yu Yin handed the safety helmet he had prepared to the little girl and began to circle around into the alley per the instructions. They quickly arrived in front of a detached home. The entrance was tightly locked up, and it was pitch-dark inside without the faintest hint of light.
For some reason, he felt that the home looked somewhat familiar. However, he figured that it was likely a similar style to another district built by the same construction company.
The little girl, who was clearly very familiar with the area, grabbed his arm and led them around the fire escape at the side of the house, coming to a stop at the barred door in the back. Her tiny hand passed through the cracks between the bars, and the door unlocked with a click after a few clangs.
“Wait, is this your home?” Yu Yin grabbed Shuang Shuang to keep her from stepping inside as his heart skipped a few beats and began to ache slightly. For some reason, this house had an oppressive feeling.
“Shuang Shuang was the first to find it. There’s nobody living inside, it’s Shuang Shuang’s secret base.” The little girl pried free from Yu Yin’s grip and flashed a beautiful smile before worming through the door.
Without any other choice, Yu Yin could only gather his wits and follow the little girl in to trespass through some random person’s backyard. The only fortunate thing was that there were tall walls surrounding the house. Otherwise, the neighbours on either side would probably be shouting “Thiefs!” right now…Actually, it doesn’t seem like anyone lives in the neighbouring homes either.
He looked around at the vacant houses on both sides. Their yards were all filled with weeds, which made it appear that the lots had been empty for a while as well. The nearest residents were a few houses down.
He passed through the gate to enter the completely silent area around the house. The dirt in its front porch was black and completely bare aside from a few remains of plants that had long since dried up. The path up to the door was paved with cement and did not seem out of the ordinary. There were even quite a few brooms and gardening tools placed around the area, although they were broken to the point where they could clearly not be used.
Yu Yin had not noticed while outside, but he now discovered after entering that the surrounding walls were almost entirely dyed black for some reason, but they did not appear to have been a result of a fire.
“There’s something really pretty inside that’s Shuang Shuang’s treasure.” The naïve child did not notice the house’s abnormalities and had no interest in the outer yard. She quickly ran to the unlocked, back door and pushed it open with a creak.
Seems like she really does come here often.
Yu Yin quickly reached this conclusion. A little concerned for her safety, he also followed her inside. However, it seemed like the door could not be pushed open very far, as it would get stuck after being opened to a certain extent.
Yu Yin tried several times to widen the space, but to no avail. As a result, he scanned the amount of space and could only hold his breath as he angled his body and forcibly squeezed through.
Instantly, a smell wafted over from inside the house, distinctly different from outside. This smell carried the stench of blood and rotting flesh.
He froze for a second, unable to determine where the smell was coming from. It felt as if the entire house was filled with it. The home was pitch dark, the blackness like that of a deep night. Even the windows were blocked off from the light outside. There was not a single colour reflected inside.
Following a few noises, a small glow suddenly lit up on his left.
Shuang Shuang had pulled out some candles from the little cabinet on the side. With practiced motions, she placed the red, wax-dripping candle down onto the cabinet and pulled out a new candle. Yu Yin wasn’t sure if these [candles] had been prepared by her, or whether the residence had stored them originally.
However, the moment they lit up, Yu Yin definitely saw several pairs of feet vanish into the dispelled darkness.
“Welcome to Shuang Shuang’s secret base. Shuang Shuang will pretend to be the mommy, Dàgēgē will pretend to be the daddy.” The little girl holding the candles smiled at him from amidst the darkness, with the expressionless woman standing behind her. The little girl, unable to see this, slowly opened her mouth to say:
“Welcome home.”
***
Yu Yin was not sure how long he stood there in stunned silence for.
By the time he did snap out of it, the woman had already disappeared. Shuang Shuang quickly ran further into the house with the candle in her hands, as familiar with the place as if she had lived there for a long time.
Yu Yin pulled open a drawer and discovered it was filled with candles. Some still had colourful plastic packaging around them that made them look dedicated for paying respects to gods. They were various sizes and shapes. There were also some prepared candle stands, so the household seemed to be a very devout one.
He took a candle out and lit it. When he glanced behind him, he was shocked to discover a shadow passing through his body. He could practically feel the stinking, ice-cold air streak across the space next to his ear.
He had not been able to clearly see it, as there was nothing to be seen when he turned around. Wiping away cold sweat, Yu Yin subconsciously quieted his movements, slowly walking forwards to the living room in front.
The flickering candlelight slowly illuminated parts of the house as he advanced. The ornaments and everything were still there, though mostly rotting away. They appeared to have suffered from severe damage in the past, and even the walls had quite a few dents.
The room in front was somewhat brighter. When he stepped in, he saw that Shuang Shuang, who had gotten there before him, had already lit up three or four candles on the marble table. The surface was covered with a very thick layer of candles. It was evident that she had come here many times now. The larger sized broken-down junk had already been cleared out of the area into the hallway, so the living room was much cleaner. There was a small shrine sitting crookedly in the corner, the god in it missing the upper half of its head somehow. The little standing inside took out a jar of candy from a slanted cabinet, and shook it with a few clangs. She then poured out a piece of hard candy covered in sugar and passed it over. “This is for Dàgēgē.”
Yu Yin popped the candy into his mouth and felt the artificial sweetness erode cavities into his teeth. He instantly calmed down. “How long have you been coming to this place?”
“I came after summer break. Back then, Shuang Shuang was still going to school, the third grade. After summer break, Āyí said Shuang Shuang should not waste anymore money, so Shuang Shuang came here whenever Shuang Shuang did not like being together with Daddy and Āyí. It’s quiet here.” The little girl plopped down on the cotton sofa that was already starting to turn black. She swung her feet as she said, “Plus there are a lot of candies and cookies here, Shuang Shuang found them.”
…So the candy I just ate was from this house?
Only seconds after calming down, Yu Yin felt chills crawl up on spine again.
He surveyed the house’s size and noticed that the staircase was blocked by a pile of junk. However, there was a pair of feet up on the corner of the stairs, the upper body above the knees completely immersed in the impenetrable darkness…He did not want to know what those feet belonged too. Knowing too much would not benefit him in the slightest.
“Shuang Shuang doesn’t really understand. Sometimes when Shuang Shuang sees Āyí all naked and siting on Daddy to rock back and forth, Āyí comes over to hit me and chase me out. But they always take over the living room, and Mommy used to read books with Shuang Shuang there.” The little girl’s pretty face was illuminated by the candles on the table as she looked down. “But it’s okay now, Shuang Shuang has her own living room. Let me read a book for you to listen to.”
When Yu Yin looked at the little girl’s blank expression, he couldn’t help but feel the stifling pain in his chest grow stronger, as if something was blocking his heart. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the words she had spoken in her soft, childish tone, or if it was because of the constant stench in the air of the house. The strange pain was like a hemp rope tied around his neck, preventing him from concentrating his thoughts.
He automatically glanced down to look at the black floor tiles on the ground. Upon lifting his head aga