Bloom

As we were walking through the cavern system deep below the center of the grasslands, my mind is laser sharp, focused on the main problem…

How am I going to train a chef to ‘cook’ meals with pure energy?

The basic fact that most biological creatures have ‘taste’ sensors far different than mine is a problem.

The basic fact that I don’t eat through a stomach, yet instead eat energy directly after converting matter is a problem.

The basic fact that most chefs are mortal is a problem.

Wait, scratch that #3 isn’t an issue, there’s a ring for that.

So the first two are the real issue.

Without a ‘taste’ sensor that can help ‘flavor’ exist, the chef won’t have any way of ‘cooking’ me anything delicious.

It’s not like I can kill Divinities every breakfast, lunch, and dinner either.

Nor can I devour a world every mealtime...

…Yet…

So the idea of resolving my food source through the Cult of Wood and using an ‘Infinite’ energy source like a flywheel came about. ‘Cult of Wood’ is the classic name given to those my servants hand out rings to, original, I know.

The problem of cooked food is, a simple one on the surface.

Anyone who has ever eaten the same food for a month straight, looking at college students and ramen eaters here, know what I mean.

You get sick.

Physically sick, after eating the same thing for too long.

It gets to the point where your own body can start treating the substance you eat as food as ‘poison’ and takes action against it.

Now, I’m not sure if this issue will arise, since I’m a Tree.

However, it would be foolish to assume that because I’m a Tree nothing like this could ever happen.

To that end a ‘chef’ that can ‘cook’ the ‘food’ to different flavors is required.

As we set down for the night in a camp with tens of miles of earth over our head, I reach the solid conclusion.

I will need to create a creature that can do what I require.

It will need to be composed of a mechanical part, and an organic part.

In essence I’ll need to resolve this issue myself.

I can’t depend on others, since I am operating so far out of common sense right now. Chaos energy is also totally different than normal energy, as the very essence of disorder in the universe, expecting a chef to treat it like a normal flavor source would be idiocy.

It’s like asking a chef to create a food, from an ingredient, that changes flavor every picosecond.

So, the chef will need to have inhuman reaction speeds. The ability to taste energy. The ability to ‘cook’ energy. Above all they will need a Dao!

Without a Dao of some sort, how will they even create the ‘cooking tools’ required to make my meals, right?

This…this is going to be complex.

Grumbling to myself I effortlessly turn a few Hook Horrors that snuck up on our camp to ashes. Since we are so far underground, it’s likely we are close to an entrance of Darkness nearby. More specifically, an entrance to the Underdark.

Considering the Labyrinth exists in all possible universes, it is just as clear as an offshoot of the Labyrinth, the Underdark does as well. At one point I thought of attempting to reach my family through the Labyrinth, but, I had to give up.

There are things in the Labyrinth that cause me to shudder. One day, I’ll eat them all, however that day is far in the future.

At least it was just measly Hook Horrors this time. If we encounter Drow or something even stronger, I might actually need to release my Soul Seal to take care of the issue. After all, Mishra isn’t a robot, she can’t fight forever without rest.

Sure the gnomish guards are decent, but they can’t fight hordes of enemies like Mishra can. Even the best battle suit will run out of power eventually unlike a fighter who sources directly from the eternal Dao, after all.

A glowing male humanoid figure flickers on the edge of my vision before disappearing.

That thing has been hovering around a lot lately. I don’t sense any threat from it, so I’ve been ignoring it. The figure also seem strangely familiar, in an odd way as well.

Meh, it’s not like I fear ghosts anyways. Besides, I have a nagging suspicion I’m forgetting something about that glowing figure…

Several naps, and weeks later, we finally reach the end of the underground road.

Mishra did a wonderful job turning subterranean threats into meat paste!

I did a wonderful job turning night time attackers into ashes!

S’neli did a wonderful job making a minor breakthrough in the Dao!

Guido….didn’t really do much since we can’t really sell things to stuff that has nothing but appetite to eat us. He did a good job not annoying the rest of us though!

The underground tunnels have finally ended in a massive cavern that had no end. The ledge upon which we stand is thousands of feet up in the air, and below us is a glowing lake of white-hot lava.

This is the fun part now!

“Throw the tree in, S’neli.” Mishra is calmly advising my ‘owner’.

“Are you insane? The temperature of that stuff has to be insane!” S’neli gestures at the lava below. “Why would I throw an innocent tree into that?” She starts backing away slowly from the group clutching my cage tightly.

Master Plant? I don’t want to accidentally hurt her… Mishra says to me through the aether.

Hmm…I didn’t expect this. It appears I have underestimated my own sentimental value!

It is fine. I’ll handle this. I reply after a moment of thought.

Opening the latch to my carry-cage, I float out towards the air above the lava.

S’neli stares aghast at me, her face depicting complete and utter confusion.

My branches wave gently, before I cut my levitation and drop into the lava below.

My last sight is of Mishra tackling S’neli before she can leap after me.

Goodness, the things some people think of doing for their pets!