Chapter 120 History Part 1
~ SASHA ~
Zev began to relay the things he'd told her and Dunken. But this time—with more time and fewer pressures, he was able to give more detail.
He sat next to her, the flames of the fire reflected in his eyes. His heavy brows and dark cheeks moving unselfconsciously as he fell into the memories, his gaze becoming distant. He gestured with his hands, while his eyes searched the flames, as if he saw things within them.
"The team came that day and pulled me aside," he said quietly. "They were only two days early, so I wasn't alarmed. I welcomed them. I'd planned to speak with them about the problems we were having among the youngsters with that cough—remember?"
Several of the other men nodded.
Zev cleared his throat. "Their medicines had been so effective the last time, it seemed a good idea to get them involved early this time. But I didn't want them coming through more often. I'd planned to talk to them about arranging a time to come, that I'd send healers to meet them, so they didn't have to come through at all… but as soon as we were alone, it was clear they were disturbed. The kind of disturbed the humans aren't good at faking, you follow?" He looked around and the others all nodded. "They sent four through that day, three who'd been many times before. I'd never seen them so agitated. They started asking questions about our health before I even raised the issue—and then they told me why they'd arrived early."
He took a deep breath and met eyes with everyone again. "You know they have the sanctuary in their world, where they make us. There's always a population there, usually younger than here. But they keep a few from each round of trials…"
He spoke about these things so easily as if they were simply given truths. Sasha's mouth fell open at the idea of an entire race of people stuck in any kind of lab or sanctuary. She hated seeing animals chained in any way—and these were people, not animals. But looking around the group of men it came home to her that all of these people in front of her had come to Chimera because of the intervention of humans like her.
To them, a place where they were "made" was a simple reality.
It made her skin crawl. She wanted to ask Zev questions, but he was already moving on.
"They'd had an outbreak of the cough among their young, as well, and it was deadly. They were becoming genuinely concerned that they might lose an entire generation—they were desperate, though trying to hide it. They feared they may have brought the germ from their world on their previous trip—something the humans were immune to, or that was more minor for them, but that was decimating their Chimera.
"They didn't know why the Chimera were weaker to this germ than to others. Usually we are far stronger against illness than humans," he turned to Sasha to say quickly, then returned to the men. "By the time we'd spoken for an hour, I was convinced: There was a genuine crisis occurring in our people in the human world. Nick had sent a message with them to make sure I understood how dire the situation was, and to personally ask me to return with them."
His jaw went tight, the little muscles at the back of it twitching. "It was the first lie that I swallowed completely," he said bitterly. "And one I wouldn't uncover for years. But he told me that they had reason to believe I was immune to this disease, and that it was crucial that I come work in the program they'd always told me I was made to… to head up. The entire purpose of my existence. Nick told me that it would be a few weeks at most. That I was needed, and I was needed urgently."
He shook his head, his jaw set and mouth frowning. "I wanted to go back, to speak to the council and set the hierarchy for my absence. That was the only thing I requested. But they were afraid that if they carried the germ and had spent that time close to me, that even in that short contact I might carry more of it back to the people, only to tell them I was leaving." He swallowed and Sasha's stomach flipped. He didn't turn to look at her, his eyes going dark and shadowed.
"He told me they would send one of the team back to the City right then, to inform you all—that was why they'd sent through four instead of three. That's what he said. And he assured me that I could return a message to you all—a recording, the way they brought me his. I thought… I thought it would be enough. A couple of weeks, I told myself. I could help our people over there, and you all would survive no trouble."
He took a deep breath and rubbed his face that was suddenly haggard.
Despite the sick dread in the pit of her stomach, Sasha reached for his arm again, and laid her hand there.
It was easy to see how much he hated this. And that he was avoiding her eyes, his shoulders hunching slightly with shame.
A part of her was glad to see it, glad that he wasn't untouched by this terrible part of his past. But the part of her that loved him, that hated seeing him hurt… that part of her wanted to weep.
He was heartbroken, and sickened… and, as he spoke, it became clear, Zev was also traumatized.
His body began to shake as he relayed what had occurred in those first days that he returned with the humans. And the picture he painted made Sasha want to scream—and to weep.
He brushed over the details—for her benefit, or his own, she wasn't sure. But regardless, his references to mating were little more than dark words punctuating a picture of technological and mental manipulation. He didn't see sunlight for almost a month—him, who had been living in Thana and breathing the fresh air for two years. Her vibrant, athletic Zev who was more active than anyone she knew. He'd been essentially jailed in fluorescent lighting, and told that he was saving lives. That the very future of his people was in his hands.
"From the very first week they had me in the breeding arena every day—but they didn't seem to be any happier. The females were healthy, but… blank. I don't know how else to describe it. But I checked with all of them. They were happy to be there, they said. Excited to be with me, to seek their own young."
Sasha's stomach roiled. She prayed she wouldn't throw up. She wanted to let him go, to remove her touch because it was cutting her to her bones to hear this, but it was so obvious to see how bereft he felt, she couldn't bear to break contact with him.
Zev's eyes closed. "The ones from those first weeks never returned to me," he said quietly. "I assumed it had been successful. I began to plan my return. I'd recorded a message for you with Nick in the first couple of days I'd been gone and… I believed everything here was simply progressing while I was gone. And that's when… that's when they lied to me again. And I was too fucking young and stupid to realize it," he snarled, his hand fisted so hard, his knuckles turned white. And the forearm under her hand became a steel bar.
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