Demon's Journey

~ SASHA ~

Sasha snorted. "Simple? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I meant your love is simple, Sasha. You two love each other, admit it, and live it. That is… something to be envied. It doesn't happen for all of us that way—even with the bond."

"But… the bond… I thought that was like God putting you together or something? How can she have it with you and want him instead?"

"Because the Chimeran bond is… not simple. Some are born with it, others develop it over time. In either case it has to be accepted," Lhars said through his teeth, looking away to the trees. "I don't wish to discuss it further."

"And you say I'm not being up front with my words."

Lhars glared. "I'm being very upfront. But if you are unclear, let me state it for you: I do not wish to talk about this. At all."

Sasha sighed and pulled the blanket tighter around her. She was torn about Lhars, convinced that he was a good man and probably did deserve more recognition from Zev. But he clearly wasn't flawless, and hadn't been in the past. She couldn't step between the brothers when she didn't know the whole story.

She would talk to Zev, though. Get him to take a second look at Lhars. And maybe stop… needling him.

Sasha snorted, even though the thought stung.

Culture shock was a bitch.

"Okay… does that mean you won't talk about my other ideas or questions, or you just don't want to talk about this?"

Lhars sighed, his breath making a puff in the cold night. "If I can help the Alpha, I will, of course," he said through his teeth. "I just want to avoid… this subject."

"Fair enough, Sasha said. "So, to put it plainly like you've asked me to, I believe the Clans are better served if they have both Zev and I in leadership—in different roles. And I understand that that's not how things are done here. So… Zev worries that too many changes too fast will create more problems than they'll solve. It's why he doesn't want me to just give him the Alpha role. He thinks… I don't know what he thinks.

"I think we're better off if he's in charge, but I've got the chance to do something… about the humans."

Lhars stared at the ground near their feet and chewed it over. "I see the idea and applaud it in concept," he said finally. "And I think in many ways having a Pair as Alpha could give more stability—especially if one or the other does have to travel. The question is whether the Alphas will accept it. In order for one of them to take the throne, would they have to beat both of you?"

"They'd hardly have trouble getting past me," Sasha said dryly.

"Xar did."

The words hit her in the solar plexus, stealing her breath as an image of Xar, his eyes turning dead, glazing over as he slumped—

Sasha turned her head away from the image. "That's a good note," she said firmly. "I'll think on how to address that. Can you think of any other issues the people might raise?"

"Only that you'll need to establish how it works—if the two of you do not agree, who do the people listen to? How would you establish Zev?"

"I don't see it as us having to agree. I see it as us haven't different areas of responsibility."

Lhars scratched the back of his neck. "The idea has merit," he said carefully.

"But?"

"But… I'm just not sure how you'd do it—bring him alongside you without appearing as if he has defeated you and simply taken Alpha. That needs more thought."

Sasha nodded. He was right.

But at least he hadn't laughed at her. Perhaps there was hope for this idea after all.

They discussed it for a long time, but in the end, there were no real answers, only speculation. And Sasha knew she needed to step carefully and not rush this. Even Lhars thought there needed to be time for the Thana males to understand her and how the hierarchy would now work with Xar.

Sasha sighed, but understood.

By the end, they were both sitting on the steps again, just a few inches between them. When they went quiet, Sasha yawned.

"You should try to sleep. He will need you tomorrow," Lhars said. She didn't detect the bitterness in him.

"I'm not sleepy, just… exhausted."

"You'll be even more so tomorrow."

She knew he was right, but she felt… afraid to go to sleep. Afraid of what might happen while she was unaware. She looked back towards the building, then sighed again. "You're right."

Lhars blinked. "That's… not a statement I hear often."

Sasha snorted. "Welcome to my world."

Lhars smiled then, a slow, easy grin, and Sasha was struck again by how similar the brothers looked. And she wondered how much like Zev Lhars might have been without carrying such resentment.

She almost reached for him, just to comfort him as she would anyone else she knew was hurting. But she hesitated.

Then she remembered what he'd said about owning herself.

She snorted again.

"What's funny?" Lhars asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Then she turned to him and twisted a smile. "I was just thinking that you want me to be up front and own the way I think, but there are certain things that you wouldn't want, if I were to do that."

Lhars turned his chin slightly. "Give me an example."

Chuckling to herself, Sasha stood up, and beckoned for Lhars to do the same thing. When he did, she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him.

Lhars went stiff under her embrace, but she just tightened her hold and leaned her temple against his chest.

"I'm glad you're here, Lhars. I'm glad that the Clans had you when Zev was gone, and I'm glad that you weren't too proud to stick around now that he's back. I'm glad that I can trust you to be honest with me even when it's hard. And I feel for you. I hope you can be happy."

Then she let him go and stood back.

Lhars stared at her, his face blank, but eyes wide.

"Good night," Sasha said, then turned and went back inside.