Chapter 215. Waking Up (part 1)
Shen Miao had dreamt of a very long dream.
That dream seemed to be very very long and it lasted a lifetime. She had a bystander perspective as she watch herself grew from a baby bumbling over words to a lively young girl, from a lively young girl to a young female, then to a middle aged married woman, then to the Mistress of the Six Palaces and finally to an abolished Empress in the Cold Palace before during into a pile of ashes in that fierce fire.
She saw herself falling in love with Fu Xiu Yi and begging Shen Xin to marry her to Fu Xiu Yi. She sat at the side and did her best to stop herself from her stupid behaviour but it was all in vain. No one could hear her words and she could only watch as everything happened around her.
From a perspective of a bystander, she saw how stupid the things that she did in the past and this time Shen Miao finally understood. The most terrifying thing was to experience all the heartbreaking matters again. It ended when she married Fu Xiu Yi when she was young. Those carefree days, even when others called her stupid, were after all filled with freedom and happiness. When she was called Ding WangFei, she was forced to be involved with all these fighting and scheming.
Even her pair of son and daughter was unable to escape.
The people around her left one by one and the First household of Shen family gradually declined. The prosperity of the past was like a flower that bloom during spring. Once spring is over and one headed towards summer and when the autumn wind starts, it would then wither, making it look cold and desolate.
In that dark life where one could not even see a single ray, there were some matters that she had ignored. Those were the stars in the night. They were covered up by other things and became unreal but after one accidentally discovered it, it was as bright as ever. It was like there was fireworks in one’s backyard and had colours which breath in live into the cold boring night.
She saw Xie Jing Xing.
Not that stubborn and obstreperous youth, not that hero that died on the battlefield. His arrogance was the same in the previous generations as he rode a high horse and carried a bow and in a conversation, he subverts an Imperial dynasty. He drank the wine that she had offered under the clear and bright moonlight and gave her a wish that she could not fulfilled in her entire life on the dark clouded ruined city.
They watch fireworks during the day and even did not miss the promise of that New Year’s night. They obviously had a chance encounter but he became the most indispensable person in her life.
Because of him, her wish came true. Because of him, she could be redo her life.
But that lifetime’s fate was just too short. Such a beautiful fate that made one look forward to was halted due to fate’s teasing. What was pitiful was that even with this chance of a lifetime, that short lived fate still continued.
There was no need to speak of any of the questions that were not asked. Many things had vanished at that moment, including questions and including answers.
The past fate was the result of the future result.
Shen Miao slowly opened her eyes.
As far as one could see, the skies had cleared up after the rain and a delicate scent sachet was hanging from the corner of the mosquito net, most likely to dilute the bitter aroma of medication. A more intriguing scent was revealed after the scent and medication were mixed together.
Shen Miao looked up beside her.
The young male leaned at the head of the bed and one of his hands was tightly holding hers. His eyes were closed and there was a slight stubble on his chin. Even though it was not so obvious, it was a different appearance that how he usually was.
His hand was distinctively defined, slender and warm and it was the right size that covered her entire hand up. Shen Miao only moved slightly and Xie Jing Xing woke up.
Seeing her opening her eyes, Xie Jing Xin was startled for a while and seemed not to be able to react to it. After pausing for a while, he then suddenly said, “You woke up.”
Shen Miao nodded her head.
“Do you feel anywhere unwell?” Xie Jing Xing questioned closely, “Let Gao Yang come in to take a look?”
He usually had an appearance of laziness that any matter would not be able to enter his heart but this time there was a rare anxiousness on his face. Shen Miao said, “There is no need. I am fine.” She then asked, “How is Gentleman Pei?”
Xie Jing Xing’s face turned black in a moment.
When Shen Miao saw that his face had changed, she was stunned before she immediate understood. However she did not know how to explain it. Was Pei Lang detestable? Naturally he was detestable. In the past lifetime, he took her fingertip blood for Mei Furen, and even though one did not know if Mei Furen’s ‘changing of one’s fate’ was real or not, one felt that it psychologically helped and that sentence of ‘cut the weeds and eliminate the roots’ to Fu Xiu Yi had indirectly led to Fu Ming’s end.
Shen Miao had complicated feeling with Pei Lang. She could ignore herself but the matter concern Fu Ming which made her unable to forgive Pei Lang. However at the end, Pei Lang used his life to give her an opportunity for rebirth.
One was unable to speak clearly of one feeling as one was unable to be purely grateful or simple hate a person. One could only be done was to draw a line in the relationship. Shen Miao did not want to have any relations of ‘owing’ or ‘being owed’. The matters of the past lifetime ended but in this lifetime she did not want to owe Pei Lang anything and did not want to be owed by Pei Lang. She had remembered clearly that when the childlike assassinate attacked, it was Pei Lang that took the most serious stab. If Pei Lang died because of her then in these two lifetimes, their relationship would not be able to be calculated cleanly.
However upon seeing Xie Jing Xing’s expression, Shen Miao knew that he had misunderstood. When Xie Jing Xing was angry because of these things, Shen Miao felt that it was very similar to the little wolf dog that was raised in the Luo family army.
She quickly stroked this little wolf dog and said, “He saved my life and is after all one’s benefactor. Without any rhyme or reason, one cannot smoothly accept this type of kindness from others.”
It was only then that Xie Jing Xing’s expression got better, “Gao Yang had taken a look. He woke up once yesterday night. His life is indeed thick.” He then looked at Shen Miao, “It is you that do not wake up. If you don’t wake up, I planned to bash that Taoist Priest’s head in.”
“Taoist Priest?” Shen Miao was startled, “Are you referring to Chi Yan Taoist Priest?”
“What Taoist Priest or not.” Xie Jing Xing said with disdain, “He is only a swindler who earns other’s money.” The so called ‘Chi Yan Taoist Priest’ had bid farewell to the residence of Prince Ding this morning and even took a good grade antique vase along, saying that it was a thank you gift. One did not know how was a Taoist Priest who schemes for a fortune would be a Superior One.
When Shen Miao finished listening to Xie Jing Xing story of that Taoist Priest taking a vase away, there were some doubts in her heart. The long dream had resolved many of her doubts but it might not be real. It was just that Shen Miao did not know why but she felt that everything that happened in the dream was a complete story of her last lifetime.
She indeed encountered that priest on the journey back to Ming Qi from Qin country and thought that he was a refugee who had escaped and dressed as a Taoist Priest for survival. She was after all a daughter that was raised by Shen Xin and had some kindness in her heart, so she gave the other party a bowl of water to drink and did not expect that so many things were involved.
If she had really listened to that Taoist Priest in her last lifetime and did not return to Ding capital, most likely there would not be such tragedy later. But if one had an opportunity to repeat it, even though one knew it was a route of no return to the Underworld, she would not choose the alternative because her pair of children were deep in the Palace.
But that Taoist Priest fulfilled a fate.
Shen Miao remembered it very clearly.
In the dream, her corpse had turn into ashes by the fire that was ordered by Fu Xiu Yi and nothing remained. However the air of grievances was extremely heavy and would not just dissipate. Mei Furen instructed people to do some rituals so that she would not become a vicious spirit and would not be able to reborn. Her soul was imprison in the Palace walls and would often move around in it and would be also weaker day by day.
All of her things that were left behind were burnt. If there wasn’t the red string on Xie Jing Xing’s hand, one feared that she would have disappeared from the world.
That red string had protected her some misery and in all those days that one could not live on, Shen Miao’s soul inhabited in the red string around Xie Jing Xing’s wrist and muddledly passed one life.
Until the day that the city was broken.
She saw that Fu Chen died in the hands of his own people and saw Mei Furen and Fu Xiu Yi were tired up and displayed on the city tower, watched as both of them had tens of thousands of arrows pierced into their heart and die and watched as the countless fires burnt down the Palace that she hated her entire life and raze till a pile of hashes. The unfulfilled desire in her heart disappeared and at that moment her soul finally found complete peace.
The red string was severed. She could let it go. And at the expense of Pei Lang’s life, time was reversed and she regained her life.
Xie Jing Xing saw Shen Miao not speaking and asked with a frown, “What is wrong?”
Shen Miao recovered to her senses and did not speak as she looked at him.
She was somewhat touched. She was saying that there was no intersection between Xie Jing Xing and herself in her past life time so why would they be mistakenly tied together and one would not be able to get out? So it was that there was some entanglement in the past lifetime. Initially Xie Jing Xing owed her a wish but it was just a joke. One did not expect that he would keep his promise and personally end Fu Xiu Yi and Mei Furen and avenged her.
She said softly, “Xie Jing Xing, do you have any wishes?”
Xie Jing Xing took a glance at her, “Why? You want to accomplish it for me?”
“I can give you a wish.” She said seriously, “As long as I have the ability to accomplish it, I will definitely do my all.”
She had a solemn expression and it caused Xie Jing Xing to cast a sidelong glance. However in a short moment his lips were hooked up and he said in a smile but not a smile, “Good.” He then went closer to Shen Miao ears and said softly, “My wish… You can definitely accomplish it.”
Shen Miao asked, “What is it?”
“Give birth to a baby for me.” He spoke lightly.
Shen Miao looked at him for a while and Xie Jing Xing touched his nose. Just as he was about to speak, he heard Shen Miao answering, “Alright.”
Xie Jing Xing was stunned.
Shen Miao stared at him and there was a smile on her lips that was different from usual. It was not the kind that was put on display or a little reserved or somewhat lazy. It was as if she was really heavy and there was even a touch of gentleness.
Xie Jing Xing unconsciously reached out and touched her forehead, “You are indeed sick.”
Shen Miao pushed his hands away and said, “Xie Jing Xing, you must be terrified on your birthday.”
Xie Jing Xing released his hands and seeing that her expression was calm and there was nothing strange, he felt relief and followed her topic of conversation and asked, “What do you thing? I even thought…” He did not continue speaking. Even upon recalling that scene now, Xie Jing Xing could not help but felt scared. Shen Miao was laying in a pool of blood and seemed to be unconscious, as if she would not wake up again. His heart seized and stopped, even when he brought the Xie family army to the Northern Jiang’s battlefield for the first time, even if someone was scheming in the dark and his life and death was unclear, he was not as fearful as he was currently.
He also had things he was fearful of, also had people he was afraid of losing and also had weakness. These three things were all the same, which was this person in front.
“I will make up of it.” Shen Miao said, “Has your birthday long passed? Why not one make it up for you today?
Xie Jing Xing looked at her unfathomably and said, “One appreciate your kindness. Your health is not recovered yet so don’t torment yourself.”
“It is only a superficial wound.” Shen Miao instead took the initiative to say, “Let’s go out.”
She behaved somewhat abnormally after she woke up. First was that Shen Miao was not a playful person and second, she seemed to be much more intimate that she was before. Her previous temperament was somewhat restrained and even though one did not know why she was used to put it up, but Shen Miao was one who had an big ego, else she would not be in a cold war with Xie Jing Xing for that long. For her to take the initiative and fawn, it made Xie Jing Xing surprised.
He squinted his eyes and asked, “Did you do something behind my back?”
“En.” Shen Miao nodded her head seriously.
“Is it related with Pei Lang?” Xie Jing Xing’s expression got cold.
Shen Miao took a deep breath. She felt that one could not indulge this conduct of Xie Jing Xing. Just what was he thinking? After resuming her normal look, she asked, “Are you going or not?”
Before Xie Jing Xing could speak about her changing temperament, one heard a voice from behind, “Go then.”
